skin

I was somewhat of an insecure girl.

I lacked self esteem and general social skills, not only to mention I was ugly, due to the ugly duckling phase.

But I should’ve left it alone, I will always regret my decision that day.

I was scrolling through the web, looking for products to help my acne, makeup, and outfits I'd say I would wear if I had a better body.

All of this sounds stupid but to the mind of a 15 year old girl who wanted a boyfriend, being attractive was very important.

I was tired of all of these attempts to make myself look better, failing.

Products weren't working.

Just then I received a notification from the site I was on, I don’t quite remember the site's name, Prettygirls.com, something with numbers in the name.

The notification was for a product I’d never heard of.

Something that claimed to deal with acne, which I was suffering from extremely, so I clicked.

As soon as a white screen popped up I received another notification saying something called Tor was downloading.

A pit in my stomach formed as I thought maybe I had accepted a virus of sorts but was released and confused when I saw it was a search engine.

It loaded up the site and displayed the product I had originally seen, it was surprisingly cheap for the ratings it had.

I was a naive teenager so I didn’t think to really check if it was legitimate, I just wanted what it was offering to do for me.

It was something I had to inject into my arm, and at the time, I didn’t care about how shady this seemed.

Those genuine ratings gave me hope that all my problems with my face and body would go away.

I purchased it, and anticipated it’s arrival.

About a month later I received the package in a brown box, with yellow tape around it completely with no return address, just my home address with my name on it.

I quickly took it up stairs to my bathroom, my heart pounding with excitement as I started opening my package.

Inside it was bubble wrap and packing peanuts , and beyond that was a blueish box with the label of the product I had purchased.

I opened it to find a syringe and a tiny bottle.

It’s instructions were to inject just once into the top of my arm and that it’d change the way I’d look forever.

I was getting excited and giddy about it as I took the syringe out of its sterile bag and stuck it into the tiny bottle, taking out as much as I had been directed.

I winced a bit as I injected it into my arm, and stood there for a moment.

Everything seemed to be alright at the time, so I went to my room to watch tv.

Soon enough I got tired and decided it was time to sleep.

I awoke to a burning sensation in my arm, feeling almost numb like when I had been bitten by ants.

I sat up, the burning becoming unbearable.

I felt a sudden panic building up in my chest as I quietly got up to go to my bathroom, my vision slightly hazed, as I turned on the light to see myself.

I couldn’t comprehend what I was looking at, what was this thing I looked at in the mirror.

I locked the door, I was scared, I was afraid that I had done something very very wrong.

I had, I couldn’t look at myself.

I looked again, to see what exactly had happened.

My skin is bubbling around my face, and something is bulging under my skin.

How I wish I never did what I had.

I touched my face as I attempted to feel my skin and the bubbling.

As I grazed my fingers across my face it had split like the cheese on pizza, it had fallen into the sink.

I didn’t know what to do, so I did what I thought would fix it all.

I continued running my fingers across my skin, ignoring the burning pain as I pulled apart my skin, stretching it and pulling on chunks and then tossing them into the sink.

I stared at myself.

The horrifying dissected face in front of me and The lack of blood making it much more uncanny.

I didn’t believe this was real, as I continued peeling off skin from my arms, and my waist and thighs.

All of these chunks falling to the floor and the sound of it sticking and separating from the meat left on my body.

I was shaking and losing my sense of reality as I pulled away further at the muscle and nerves, the pain unbearable but my body unable to react.

I soon passed out as I laid in the tub the chunks of my body beside me.

I woke up in the hospital the very next day, skin grafts covering me and blood pumping into me, as the nurses spoke with the surgeons and doctors.

Hours after I was bandaged up.

It was revealed to me I had taken an extremely strong hallucinogen, something they couldn’t exactly identify as a drug they had seen before.

I laid there thinking about the previous night, before asking the damage done.

I had ripped through my face tissue and the fat around my stomach, thighs, and upper arms.

They said the adrenaline pumping kept me alive and stopped me from bleeding out, and that the damage could be somewhat fixed with multiple surgeries but that’d I’d never look the same.

Months after the bandages were finally removed after so many times of changing them and being denied the ability to see my face.

The puffy swollen skin around my face and my lack of proper eyelids and lips made me look like anything but human.

The ragid scarring around my stomach, arms, and legs making me look like something otherworldly.

It’s been 20 years since that event, I vividly remember the feelings, everything from the smell of blood and raw meat, to the feel of the stringy skin and the feeling of the hallucinatory bubbles and stinging.

My face and body are still deformed, and I refuse to exit my apartment unless needed.

I recently received a letter with no return address or shipping address.

Just my name.

It was thanking me for my purchase.

Enjoying the content?

Help me keep this website ad-free!