i'm an m i five agent and i'm so confidential that they have to deny me

I'm an MI5 agent, I'm so confidential that MI5 have to deny ever employing me I am an MI5 agent and I'm so secret that if you ask MI5 about my involvement with them, they will deny ever working with me.

It's how top secret I am and recently I have been tasked to finding out the true purpose of life.

This secret mission is being funded by tax payers money and so I have been set out to find out the true purpose of life.

I went round to the priest and I asked him about the true meaning of life, and when I wasn't satisfied I pesterd him further.

He became concerned whether I was MI5 so he called them.

I told him "I'm so secret and my mission to find out the true purpose of life is so confidential, that MI5 have to say that they don't know me and that they don't have a person by that name working for them, they will also say that there is no mission to find out the true purpose of life on tax payers money" The priest rang up MI5 and asked them "does Jason deaden work for you guys and is he on top secret mission to find out the true purpose of life?" MI5 replied "we don't have anyone by that name working for us and there is no secret mission to find out the true purpose of life on tax payers money" The priest was stunned and I became angry as he was clearly wasting time and I demanded to know the purpose of life.

The answers he was giving me weren't satisfying me and so I tied him up and tortured him to force him to give me the answers to the purpose of life.

I then killed him and took valuables from the church.

I then went up to imams, rabbis, monks and other religious officials to find out the purpose of life.

Just like the priest I had to tell them just how top secret I was to MI5, and how they had to deny my existence of working for them if anyone asked MI5 about me.

I also told them how top secret my mission to find out the true purpose of life was, and how MI5 had to deny that there was such a mission.

They were all stunned.

None of the other religious officials gave me the correct answers to the purpose of life, even when I tortured them.

I had to kill them and then I robbed their holy places as well.

Then finally I got caught and got sent to prison.

News headline: "man pretending to be MI5 agent claiming to be on a mission to find out the true purpose of life.

It's so top secret that MI5 have to deny such claims of a mission and of the agent"

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